getting what you want when it really counts

I have a cat, Misha, who will turn 16 this March....if he survives.

He's been with me since he was 8 weeks old...I fondly remember holding him in the shelter. He fit in my hand, his 6 inch skinny tail wrapped up so he could clutch it and chew on the end- he was my little monkey.

I remember him climbing the Christmas tree every year. Every night, I'd come home to find my tree rattling in my apartment, fir needles ting ting tingling to the floor and a little black furry shadow clinging to the branches in the middle.

I remember him sitting so politely on the floor next to my chair at the Thanksgiving dinner table at my mother's...knowing his patience would pay off with a plate of turkey and mashed potatos made just for him.

I remember him batting at snowflakes falling past the windows of our little studio apartment in Lincoln Park.

He's been all over with me. Survived some pretty crappy living situations. Some horrendous situations. He's really been my best (and sometimes my only) friend for 15 1/2 years.

Somehow he trusts me 100%; Have you ever had that pleasure? It's quite extraordinary. I can do anything to him- 12 years ago, after discovering he'd gotten into a cabinet holding a box of rat poison, I rushed him to his doctor, who promptly gave me these big nasty capsules of Vita K for him. All I had to do was hold the capsule in my hand and he'd lick it up eagerly. He truly trusts that whatever I do, it's for his best interests. He totally and completely trusts I will always protect him from any harm-- it's overwhelming and comforting simultaneously.

So he's had a rough year and I've been beating myself up for not protecting him as much as he needed apparently. I couldn't afford to board him at his vet when I was out of town 5 different times this year. That really killed me to leave him home alone each time. On top of that, about 6 months ago, I discovered something terrible that was happening to him....and I discovered he'd lost 2 pounds (a LOT for a 10lb geriatric cat). Normally I'd rush him to the vet for extensive testing, but again, money prevented this. I've spent the past 6 months saving and planning to bring him in only for unexpected expenses to pummle my "misha account"--- 6-week notice of an out of town wedding in my family, immediately followed by a month of unexpected unemployment--- I knew the longer I went without getting him checked, the deeper in danger he got.

This past month he's dropped a ton of weight and last weekend I kept finding him in wierd parts of my home just staring blankly not knowing where he was or how he got there.

I did some research and what I found- "dimentia is not old age. It's a symptom of a serious problem, including hyperthyroidism, renal failure, diabetes..."

my heart shattered- If only I'd been able to board him during those 5 trips I took this year- If only I'd been able to bring him in sooner.

I failed my baby

So Monday I called the vet, explained my financial situation, begged the accountant to let me bring him on my day off Tuesday.

That night, I curled up Misha in my arms, under the covers, and cried while begging G*d with all my heart and soul to please make this something managable...not renal failure, not diabetes....and please bring me money to pay for it all so Misha's well-being would no longer be sabotaged by finances.

I got 2 job interviews Tuesday- both companies love me. Both pay very well. A voice-over director of a job I recorded a year ago called me in for a "pick-up" booking for Wednesday. Seems the client preferred my voice to one of the male actors in the original cast, so I was brought back to record his lines. Yes, more money. I submitted my first reviews for a Nightlife Website -- these would determine if they'd give me more assignments and pay me. They loved my writing and sent me 8 more clubs to review....yes paying!

I got the call from the vet Wednesday. Blood, urine, fecal...all 100% normal! I'm astounded there's no kidney damage. We're both astounded a 15 1/2 yr-old cat has 100% normal blood-- this is almost unheard of.

She recommends a re-check in a month and plenty of high-calorie food (kitten or prescription) and a lot of love.

I checked my bank account. Looks like, even after Tuesday's $400 vet bill, I'll have some spare change after my November rent payment. Which means I'll have MORE spare change near the end of November. Which means I can afford to have Misha stay at the hospital when I go home for Thanksgiving, so he can be surrounded by 24/7 professional care vs. last year's 10 minutes daily of my friend checking his water bowl.

Or maybe I'll take him to my mother's house in Chicago this year for some mom-made turkey and mashed potatoes and sweet-potato pie.

And the annual real Christmas tree.

And some snow.

And I just got another reminder on how f*cking cool faith can be.

And how important my kraceevee maleenkee malcheek is to me-

For those of you lucky enough to have a long-term relationship with an animal, I wish you the very same extraordinary luck I had this week.

Cheers-