email last week - "omg heath ledger is dead!"
Exclaimed down the hall at my job "aaaack! Britney's out!"
Used to be - first thing in the morning in offices, people would debate whether or not Rachel and Ross would ever hook up. Or will Dylan and Kelly reunite? Who shot JR? Can you believe what Seinfeld got away with? I believe one mark of a show's success - to network executives - was the amount of time it was discussed and debated at the office between episodes. The Watercooler Effect?
So here it is. This is the latest in the evolution of mass entertainment. First the radio. Then tv. Then the internet. Reality tv. Tv on the internet. Tv FOR the internet. Reality tv for the internet.
Disguised as journalism.
I just spent today flipping from perezhilton, x17, and tmz. The time I used to spend lying on my couch mindlessly watching whatever bad sitcoms the networks had to offer that night. Now replaced by a strong engagement in the material being offered on my computer.
But this is entertainment offered at someone's expense.
Not some 20something looking for his 15min of fame and some cash from surviving a month of endurance tests.
Someone just trying to live her life. A very challenging life. With little to no support. A 20somthing struggling to survive several years of endurance tests. Being chased by camera crews. Every second of her struggle photographed, taped, documented both journalistically and legally.
For our entertainment.
Britney shopped around a reality show 4 years ago. She got 2. One was mocked and cancelled immediately.
The other goes on and on and on and she doesn't get paid a dime for it. In fact she pays. Her parents pay. We the taxpayers pay – for all the police and fleets of ambulances and court hearings and special hospital arrangements.
As the networks scramble to get our money via their advertisers, we instead gladly pour it all to the authorities in exchange for a real life soap opera a supercharged, ultimate gladiator survival celebrity reality show.
So I continue to refresh my browser hoping there's more updates on where Britney is. Did her dad get hold of her? Is he still successfully keeping Sam, the evil guy, away? What about her lover? Is he legit? Is he what we think he is? Or something more sinister? Perhaps he's in an evil plan with Sam the evil guy? Where's her mother? Was she drugged too by the evil guy? The ex. He's turning out to not be what we thought he was! Or is he? Is he, in fact, a good guy misunderstood? Or is he, too, plotting some underhanded selfish agenda? 2 young baby boys lost in the mayhem and drama. A pregnant 16yr old sister! The leading lady – a fragile, kind, bubbly girl who caught fame in childhood. And sex symboldom….in childhood. Talented – yet not talented in the ways that she could earn respect and awards vs. scorn and mockery. Sexy, sweet. Truly grateful to her fans. Lonely, isolated, vulnerable – a new Marilyn Monroe for our generation! And the money! Ooooooo tons of money! Beverly Hills! Mexico! NYC! Malibu! Flesh! Sex! Mental illness! Million dollar Beverly hills estates in gated communities! Malibu beach homes! Padded rooms. Mass car chases all over Hollywood and Beverly Hills and across Mulhulland Drive! A daily rotation of high-end cars, fashion, drugs! Secret meetings in Hollywood legend hotels! Who are the good guys and who are the bad guys? Music industry! Pop stars! Rehab! Blackmail.
I could be describing Dallas or Knots Landing or Dynasty….oooo I'm dating myself aren't I? I've never seen the latest round of night-time soap operas as I stopped bothering to watch tv years ago. Then again reality Tv effectively cancelled our need for night-time soaps no?
Until we got Britney. Poor Britney. The American Tragedy of Britney Spears. And all for our nighttime viewing entertainment.
Did dad get into her home? Will he be living with her now? Did he really install gps tracking systems in all her $200,000 cars? Did she escape again under a black blanket in the back seat of a paparazzi car so her father can't catch her? How long and how far will she run from her family? How many cars can squeeze from a 4 lane street into 1 lane to keep up their pursuit? Did evil Sam break into her home (which a respected news source published is "never locked")? Did he steal compromising video and photos of our tragic heroine? Was he really crushing pills into her food? Cutting off her phone lines? Disabling her cars? Or are these accusations nothing more than a plotting mother with a selfish agenda?
I'm so ashamed of my contribution to her hell yet that doesn't stop me from refreshing my browser just one. More. Time. Before bed.
What will make us stop? When does the commercial break come for Britney? What price does she have to pay to get us to stop?
I'll be online as soon as I wake up tomorrow morning eager for the latest-
Will you?
