These past 2 weeks....ok a wee more than that...have had a steady dark cloud over my "circle of life"
Death
The unexpected death of the daughter of a dj I only know from our 5min smiles exchanged each Monday morning...I was shocked to find a tear rolling down my cheek as I read the email.
The long-anticipated death of the young daughter of a good acquaintance of mine. Since I still vividly remember it, I guess I'll never forget that sunny Saturday afternoon in that park on Riverside/Victory. After the Sacred Fools "retreat". Sitting on a park bench with her dad and Joe Jordan. Watching her in awe of the small green grasshopper on her arm. Lizzie was a bright beautiful flower in the middle of my grey life at that time.
My cat wobbling on my patio - reminding me his days with me will be short.
The woman for whom I babysat for 8 years was found dead in her sleep 2 weeks ago. Last Wednesday I suddenly had a strong feeling about that family...feeling guilty I'd not made contact with the family in 5 years thinking "oh no! I wonder if the father is ok?! I need to contact them before he dies so I can make sure both the parents know how much I appreciated them in my life!" Last Friday I got the call from my mother that the funeral was a week ago.
sigh
Today I learned a good friend is now so alcoholic she's slowly killing herself with the alcohol she consumes nearly 12 hours a day. Calling her vet panicked her white mouse has black spots. The vet explaining to her, while washing the spots off, that their orgin is a marker, not disease. She called 2 days later panicked with the same black spots on the same mouse. I remember all the fun I had with her 10 years ago. And her 10 cats. And how 8 of them were under 2years old. And us laughing about how, in 10 years, she better be a millionaire to have the time/money to care for 8 geriatric cats! and now I wonder what's happening to poor Willow...does Julie notice him anymore? Does she care? I'm both releived and feeling guilty for pulling away from Julie when I felt alcohol was too important to her. From the description our vet and friend gave me, it sounds like the Julie who lit up many days and nights for me is now dead on the floor of some bar in lincoln park.
and the CD that was playing when I began this depressing rag is strangely appropriate for where my mind and heart has been recently
