Walking with Kennedy

It's 5:30am I've been up since 3am to write for work.

I'd love to write for me. But writing for work is at least a first step away from the chains I've felt there these past 2 years. 2 years of working round the clock on powerpoint slides when I took the job to pay rent easily while I focused on writing.

So the job demanded all my time which meant no time for writing.

And powerpoint 50 hours a week isn't going to get me anywhere-

I feel like I've worked myself to the nub and not gotten anywhere. In fact I feel several giant steps backward from where I was when I got the first call from this company January 2006.

So I asked to write. If they're going to demand 50 hours a week from me I need to spend those 50 hours writing vs. adjusting graphs for pennies. So now I write. Or I just began. Crossing my fingers I didn't suck so they'll increase my writing hours and decrease my powerpoint hours. Then again, I took the job so I could have a job I could work from home - and my co-worker stole that from me. So now I hunt and wait for the beautiful day I can leave him alone to deal with everything. Noone should notice I'm gone. After all-

I've done NOTHING there for 2 1/2 years (according to management).

Which brings me to Kennedy....She's sitting on the couch patiently sleeping and waiting for the biggest moment of her day. A walk. We'll walk to the land's edge, down the stairs to the sand, several hundred yards along the beach, then back up to land and home. About an hour. And this will be heaven for her.

I don't know anyone who's happy with his or her life. But Kennedy seems happy. I'm sure there are happier homes for her. But she continues to give me love. There is little about my current life which brings me joy. But Kennedy just walks in the room and my heart sings.

And all she hopes to get from me is a walk or two each day. And some food. Scratching on the back is a bonus!

In return, she gives me security. Makes sure she barks loud and threatening for each person who steps up to my home.

I owe her so much - she's changed my life. She taught me how to stand up for myself. I no longer let my co-worker abuse me. His response is, natural for abusers, to accuse me of being out of line. I know I'm not. I know he's taken advantage of my generosity for 2 years. I'm no longer willing to let him do that. He's pissed. He's blaming me for his failures and taking credit for my successes. Now forced to share the work he, not surprisingly, is hoping the new girl will take on the projects he refused to touch. The projects he forced me to do alone for 2 years. I hope she quits. I know I will as soon as I have income lined up. I accepted the abuse for 2 years but Kennedy taught me how to stand up and say "no" finally.

And in return, all she hopes for is a walk with me.

Speaking of....she's been waiting since I got up at 3 for me to walk to the door holding her leash so we can go to the beach. I better get cleaned up and dressed so I can give that to her.

(I confess watching her joy while we walk is a gift to me too)